even klutzes have birthdays

November 6, 2008

I was just thinking of all the klutzy things that I do that would seriously only happen to someone as clumsy as me. 

The best example I can think of is my 18th birthday party. I was surrounded by family and friends and looking at a huge glowing cake. As I bent down to blow out the candles, I heard a gasp and when I looked up, my entire family was lunging at my face. Let me just say, there is nothing worse than staring at the people you love while they scream and jump at your face.

I didn’t realize until about 45 seconds later that my hair had brushed a candle and caught on fire. 

Best birthday ever.

So, here’s a tip: always tie your hair back when blowing out candles or risk having your birthday become your worst nightmare.

 

These klutzes can offer some other birthday horror stories to learn from, including hangover debacles and skating accidents.

afraid of athletics

November 4, 2008

I think the first rule of thumb for every klutz is to stay away from sports. The only sports I’ve ever been involved in is marching band and even that was often a risk since I was on the color guard and swinging a 6-foot metal pole around.

I recently came across one woman’s blog that discusses atheletes’ injuries. The author said that athletes tend to pride themselves on their injuries rather than hide them. I always thought that klutzes tried to hide their embarrassing injuries, but I was surprised to find that I agreed with the logic.

I’ve come in contact with a lot of klutzy people in college, and they all wear their scars and bruises like a badge — whether it’s to warn others to stay away of them because they are so accident-prone or because they actually aren’t embarrassed of being a klutz, I don’t know.

After more thought, I realized I definitely don’t hide my injuries. In fact, I tend to wait in anticipation to tell my friends about my newest debacles. Could being a klutz be more than an inherited issue? Could it have something to do with attention? Just a thought…

paper problems

October 27, 2008

Dealing with paper is an everyday event and so are my problems with it. Whether it’s computer paper, a newspaper or a sticky note, I always end up with at least a paper cut each day. Luckily, I’ve been injured by paper so often that I know exactly how to deal with it.

My worst experience with paper happened while I was covering a cake with wax paper.

I attempted to simply rip a sheet of wax paper from the roll using the serrated edge on the side of the box. Rather than cutting the paper, I followed through with the box’s edge until it lodged into my arm just shy of the major vein in my wrist.

My paper-induced scar

My paper-induced scar

Going to church and school the following days with a huge bandage across my wrist as if I had attemped suicide was really fun.

Another funny “cut story” that I saw recently: I was watching “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” earlier and laughed out loud when the father sprayed Windex on a cut. Unfortunately, Windex doesn’t really cure everything.

I think that as long as it’s noticeably too small of a cut to require emergency room care, putting some antibiotic ointment and a bandage is usually enough.

However, this blog’s list of home remedies (#14) suggests that crazy glue can be used to suture a larger cut — I’m a little skeptical. It also suggests chapstick. I would be more willing to try the latter.

my poor toes

October 21, 2008

Of all the parts of my body that have suffered due to my clumsiness, my toes are the worst.

The only bone I’ve actually managed to break is my baby toe, and I broke it while running through the house to turn off the TV, getting it caught in the wheel of a chair and falling face-first.

This blog suggests that exercises aren’t the only way to improve coordination; nutrition should also be considered.

friends in low places

October 14, 2008

The saying “Misery loves company” couldn’t be more true.

Every klutz I know tends to gravitate towards those equally, if not more, clumsy than themselves. This blog is just further proof of that fact. I think we do it because it makes us feel a little more graceful or lucky…

For example, I considered myself pretty clumsy until I met my friend. She has the worst luck, literally.

Currently she has two staff infection break-outs, strep throat and a lump on her head from when a baton hit her from two stories up. She just can’t seem to get a break.

It may seem mean, but it’s absolutely true: she makes me feel like I have all the luck.

murphy’s law

October 9, 2008

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Murphy must have been a klutz to have said something so true.

If you have a problem with Murphy’s law in your professional life, this blog offers some words of wisdom, such as: if you can’t do without it, make sure you don’t have to.

If you check that blog out, make sure to look back at the first post because it gives some really great explanations of how Murphy’s law interferes in everyday life for everyone.

And if you ever have a really bad day and you think that Murphy is looking down and laughing at you, just read this blog and you will instantly feel better about your day.

“f” number two

September 23, 2008

The talk of falling leads me to the second “f” — face.

In my experience, any injury that happens to your face doubles as an insult. When you cut, scrape or bruise your face, you are looking at a long week of questions  like, “What’s wrong with your face?” and those questions are always good for the self esteem.

Because it is so important for injuries on your face to clear up quickly, I am going to focus on remedies with this one.

I’ve been trying to think of all the different ways that I have injured my face and I found this article this outline of all of the main ways people injure their faces.

Depending on where you hurt yourself, there are completely different treatments. The WebMD article above outlines some really good basic treatments for every part of your face and every type of minor injury.

Coming up: “f” number three…

why i’m an expert…

September 2, 2008

Trevi Fountain, Rome, Italy

Trevi Fountain, Rome, Italy

Not many people can say that they have fallen into the Trevi Fountain or slid down a few steps while climbing Angkor Wat. Of course, not many people have an inner klutz like mine.

My inner klutz doesn’t only come with me abroad, though. It’s with me all day, every day.

After burning myself twice in the past week in two different ways (two second-degree burns from a hair straightener and two small burns from the eye of the stove), I decided I’m not going to take it anymore.

I’m going to start exploring my options and have a more open relationship with my klutz — it’s not like we’re married! I should be able to go out without it bothering me.

I’m thinking that balance will help, so I plan to start taking yoga classes to become a more balanced person overall. To start, I found this great blog post about yoga’s benefits and basic poses.

I’m also going to deal with the clumsy times as they come — which they inevitably will. For those times when your inner klutz shows up uninvited, I will offer some remedies that have helped me in the past and some new ones.

So, read on until your klutz is gone!