don’t drop the phone

December 5, 2008

I have been thinking of getting a new phone lately. I currently use an original version of the LG White Chocolate and it’s pretty much the best phone I’ve ever had. But I’ve dropped it about a million times — the most recent being into a bowl of corn bread crumbs while I was cooking yesterday — and it’s looking pretty beat-up.

The problem is that most cell phones these days aren’t very sturdy. I don’t do flip phones because I’ve broken too many too easily. I also don’t really like the sliders because they always slide open in your purse, pocket or just before they hit the ground.

I think klutzes should follow one rule when buying a phone: the more solid, the better.

But with Verizon, the only phones that are solid are the PDAs which require a $30 per month fee because they automatically have internet access.

So I guess I’m stuck with the same phone until a new, more perfect one is invented. Any suggestions?


black friday shopping

November 24, 2008

Some of my most clumsy days have been on Black Friday, the shopping holiday of the year. Anyone who shops on the day after Thanksgiving is asking for it.

That doesn’t stop truly devoted shoppers from going.

For the past four years, I have bought a paper on Thanksgiving, sorted through every ad twice with my cousin, Sarah, only to wake up the next morning at 2 a.m. and race to our first store of choice.

I always check out the Black Friday site to get excited about the day — it has some deals that you can get from the comfort of your own home, rather than toughing it out at 2 a.m. in front of Target to get that free hand mixer. It allows you to search through ads and create a personalized shopping list.

After multiple injuries over the past few years due to car doors, freezing temperatures and seriously crazy shoppers (just like in the movies), I decided to search for common safety tips that might make the morning to smoother. I found this really simple, common sense list of tips I would never have thought of.

get a hobby

November 20, 2008

I find that I’m least clumsy when I’m busy — no time for mistakes. Maybe it’s my mild obsessiveness or maybe it’s just good organization, but when I have a plan mapped out I can go and go until it’s completed.

Usually my plans only include everyday activities — organizing spaces in my apartment, reading or doing a certain amount of homework, or running errands.

I make a list so that I have definite items that I can check off when I finish them — I think that’s the key.

Some of my most recent daily lists

Some of my most recent daily lists

This blog on organizing by a professional organizer gives some really great tips.

I guess it’s just harder to make clumsy moves when my every move is mapped out.

even klutzes have birthdays

November 6, 2008

I was just thinking of all the klutzy things that I do that would seriously only happen to someone as clumsy as me. 

The best example I can think of is my 18th birthday party. I was surrounded by family and friends and looking at a huge glowing cake. As I bent down to blow out the candles, I heard a gasp and when I looked up, my entire family was lunging at my face. Let me just say, there is nothing worse than staring at the people you love while they scream and jump at your face.

I didn’t realize until about 45 seconds later that my hair had brushed a candle and caught on fire. 

Best birthday ever.

So, here’s a tip: always tie your hair back when blowing out candles or risk having your birthday become your worst nightmare.


These klutzes can offer some other birthday horror stories to learn from, including hangover debacles and skating accidents.


October 30, 2008

Halloween is a nightmare for most clumsy people — costumes can be a death trap for many of us.

I spoke to a local police officer to find some general safety tips for everyone:

  1. When driving on Halloween night watch out for children walking along the road in neighborhoods. If you are walking with your children, make sure children stay off the road, especially when a car is coming.
  2. Wear something reflective on your costume and your child’s costume to help cars see you.
  3. Do not wear masks that limit your field of vision. Such masks could impair your ability to properly watch for children or cars.
  4. Do not eat opened or unusual looking candy — it could be tampered with.
  5. Do a FDLE Sex offender online search of your neighborhood to know where the offenders are in your neighborhood. Go to for more information.

Personally, I’ve sprayed hair dye on my face instead of my hair too many times to count. And what child has never worn a costume that was too long for them and ended up scraping their knees by the end of the night?

So, here’s my list of safety tips that every klutz should follow closely, especially around Halloween:

  1. Make sure that the nozzle is pointed in the direction you want it BEFORE you start spraying (ie. hair spray and fake blood).
  2. Don’t wear shoes that make an injury more likely (ie. heels and shoes that are too big)
  3. Read warnings on any products before you use them in your mouth (glow sticks are toxic if you bite them and the liquid escapes into your mouth and some fake blood is not meant to be put in your mouth).
  4. Don’t wear costumes that drag on the ground because they increase your chances of tripping (either because you step on the ends or someone else does).
  5. Don’t wear costumes that make “wardrobe malfunctions” more likely.

Here are some good suggestions for parents of clumsy kids.

And as far as pumpkin carving goes — you better have all possible clean-up/medical supplies at hand and a guaranteed ride to the ER, just in case. This a great alternative to carving pumpkins, especially if you have young children!